George’s Blog

What is it today with the depiction of vampires? It’s hard to admit this, because it takes my self-proclaimed geekiness to a whole new creepy level. But I used to LARP. It was when I was in Nuclear Power School. And the RP game we played was Vampire: The Masquerade (VTM).

LARP-ing is kind of like what happens when cops-n-robbers meets D&D. A bunch of people get together, take on fictional roles, and walk around their city/town/whatever in character, within the limits of the game (i.e., no ACTUALLY sucking people’s blood). Combat is decided by a glorified game of rock-paper-scissors.

There’s a line in “Interview with a Vampire” where Tom Cruises bloodsucker is explaining their existence. He says “We are vampires, pretending to be human, pretending to be vampires.” Well, VTM could be described as a bunch of geeky humans, pretending to be vampires, pretending to be human. In order to play the role right, you had to be a vampire, and that nature would show in your interactions with other “vampires” and in certain interactions with non-playing “humans”. But the trick was that no “human” should ever guess that you’re a vampire.

That’s the Masquerade. There’s a reason for the Masquerade.

Because vampires are fucking evil.

As some one who’s read many a vampire novel, and actually played the role of one Friday and Saturday nights for about 7 months, I’m really disappointed by all the Twilight and to a lesser extent Tru Blood crap out there.

There are, as in any culture, a few noble heroes. In the vampire world, from a human perspective, the “heroes” would be the bloodsuckers that haven’t given in to the urges of the beast within. However, the vast majority of the vampire population doesn’t go out of it’s way to make friends with the humans, or protect them, or fall in love with them.

They feed on them.

These shows are stripping the gore and fear out of the vampire mythos. They are destroying a wondrously terrifying concept by diluting it in longing looks and cleavage shots.

Let me enlighten the writers of these inane shows: the vampire concept doesn’t need any more sexual tension. The very bite of a vampire is already an allegory for sex and penetration. And vampires are not nice. They are barely, and I mean barely, only by the slightest margin better than the beast that calls them from within. If it wasn’t for the fear of permanent death and the instinct for self preservation, they would suck you dry in the grocery store and leave you there, in front of everybody. The only reason they don’t is because it would reveal their existence, which would be bad for said existence.

Can we please leave the scary as scary without making it into a parody of sexy?

Before I get into the meat of the post, I wanted to point out that a lot of my future titles will be coming from World of Warcraft. Why? Because it’s a rather large part of my life. I know, it’s a game, and I treat it as such. But it’s also an escape for me and a way to interact with other people. I haven’t been fair to WoW in my blog, mentioning it only in passing, out of the shame and stigma that playing such a game tends to generate. So even though I don’t intend to write a lot of posts only about the game, I will be making more references to it. Now, without further ado…

I’m coming to the realization that my depression is less psychological than chemical. On one hand, If this turns out to be the case, I can fell solace in the fact that it really isn’t my fault by virtue of the way I’ve handled things in my life. On the other hand, it’s really crappy because it will mean I’ll be on head meds for the rest of my life.

After a lot, and I mean a LOT of self-reflection (if you suffer from depression, you’ll know that this is something that us depressed people do a LOT) I can look back on my life and see many, many signs pointing to an earlier start to this disease than I had originally thought. Actually, I hadn’t really though much about it’s origins, but now that I have…

The times when I was at my best mentally were times when I had a combination of two things; activity (mental/physical) and a social support structure.

Example (BIG example); Tarpon Springs High School Band. This band was my family. It was my life. It kept me active (lugging around percussion equipment, playing some of the hardest percussion parts in any high school), and I was surrounded by a wonderful emotional support system, to the point of meeting my wife there. All this took place during a rather tumultuous time in my life.

Example of when things were not so great: Elementary school band. I was never a popular kid. I got picked on a lot. When I first started percussion, in fourth grade, I would seclude myself in the corner of the room and surround myself with music stands.

There are many more examples for both situation, but I’ll trust you get the idea.

In January, our company insurance is switching to a new provider, and it is then that I will begin my hunt for a therapist. It’ll be interesting to see what comes out of it. Last time I gave my background to a psychiatrist, they said “Wow. That’s some history.”

It’s odd to hear a shrink be impressed.