George’s Blog

I traveled through fields and meadows. Wolf was with me at first, and sent me on my path. I floated free, through mountains. Earth! The rock and ground that holds us steady!

I came out in the hospital, seeing Beth on the ground in pain. My heart broke for her. I screamed at the doctors! I stood on the nurses station counter and railed against the establishment that wouldn’t help her!

I flew up, over the land, the air rushing past me, fueling the anger I felt. I descended into the senate building. All over the senate floor were naked, writhing bodies, undulating and pulsing in an orgy of greed and willful ignorance. I wanted to tear it apart! But I felt I that moment that there was nothing I could do about the corruption just then, and that I was on a journey for a reason. I called that reason out.

I flew back to Beth, through her body, finding the issue that was causing so much pain and distress. I tried to call fire to burn away the blockage. I didn’t feel it was successful, and continued on out of her.

I passed again through mountains that parted for me, revealing caves and holes to travel through. All around me were spirits. They looked like monsters, and aliens, and fantastic creatures of myth and legend. I was not afraid. I felt no malice from them. I realized they were merely taking forms that I would relate to. So I travelled deeper and deeper, ending up in a city of spirits.

I had found them. The ancestors of the doctors and healers in that hospital. They were expecting me. They knew my purpose. I reached out to plead with them, to beg them for help. As my fingers barely grazed the closest one, they all glowed from the inside, brightly. En masse, and as one, they took flight, flying away towards their descendants, to whisper words of compassion in their ears.

I felt at peace. I had done what I set out to do. Elated, I took flight once more, coming out through the rock into an ocean. I saw magnificent sea monsters and creatures there. But the real world was encroaching on me.

I heard my three dogs barking in the living room. So I snapped my eyes open and skipped to the call back. When I came out of the bedroom, my dogs were looking like they’d seen ghosts.

Location:Gardner Ave,Jersey City,United States

Well, its respirator fit test time at work, which means I gotta shave. So I took a before and after picture to show of the new, temporary, look. My drunken coworkers and I, a few weeks ago, made a pact to grow the beards this year. So I’ll be taking a picture each day and stitching them together into a movie to show it. Why? Why not. Anyway, without further ado, here are the before and after pics.

The before shaving shot, 01/19/2012

The after shaving shot, 01/19/2012

It occurs to me that as a society, we are failing to take care of one another and ourselves. There are pockets of understanding here and there, but by and large I see the same mistakes made and truths unrealized.

My list of truths:
1. We are three part beings: mind, body, and spirit
2. Each part of our being can be injured or sick
3. Each part of our being is just as important as the others

What I see in our society regarding care:
1. The body is given the utmost care. The physical science that heals it is generally recognized as the first to go to for help.
2. Our minds are barely treated. I give our counsellors, psychiatrists and psychologists the utmost appreciation for fighting a mostly uphill battle. The research into problems of the mind is nowhere near the physical.
3. Our spirits receive almost no help, and the help available is very selective of the spiritual problems it recognizes.

How society treats the wounded:
1. Those with physical problems are viewed with little negativity, with a few exceptions. We tend to dismiss or put down anything out of the “norm.” So a cancer patient, who is visibly ill, may be greeted with compassion. But a dwarf (I use dwarf instead of “little person” for a reason: dwarves are badass; it’s a compliment), or a leper, or a quadriplegic might be stared at or shied away from. While those with invisible illnesses like lupus or fibromyalgia have to fight to have people understand that they are sick at all.

2. Problems with the mind almost always invite some kind of stigma, and often are the result of a physical problem, putting the patient in the same group with invisible illnesses. “Normal” people have all kinds of simple phrases on hand to dismiss the idea that the mind is the result of a complex bio-electrical machine, and that a problem with the hardware, or the software, is not only a valid problem, but they themselves are just as susceptible.

“Snap out of it!”
“Just think positive!”
“Just focus!”
“Why can’t you just be happy?”

This stigma dissuades people from seeking help, leading to a reduction in their quality of life and of the lives around them. Again, we find people fighting for society to realize that there is a medical problem there, and it is not a fault in who they are.

3. Spiritual problems are possibly the most prevalent, yet the least treated, because few know how to treat them. Faith is a powerful healing tool. Just having faith in something can stave off most spiritual wounds, and heal many received. But when the spiritual self is hurt badly, we are given no options for treatment. Religious counsellors will admonish the patient to pray, it never occurring that the patient already is. Or they’ll say to read a holy book, or blame the hurt on the persons actions. None of this provides healing.

And how does the spirit get injured in the first place?

When conflict with the world we live in goes unresolved, our spirit will take the hit.

A child with ADHD who is labelled as lazy, crazy, or stupid, never understanding why they are the way they are.

A rape victim who doesn’t know why such a horrid action was taken, whom nobody believes. Worse, there are some who will tell her it was her fault.

A gay man, shunned by his family of religious people. He can’t reconcile how people who are supposed to be compassionate and loving would be so mean and hurtful to their own family.

Any problem, if left untreated, can settle into the spirit and slowly poison the life of the host.

So what do we do? I mean, this is pervasive problem. The spiritual health of our entire civilization is in a woeful state. I wish I had answers. I wish there was a catch-all solution that could cure it all. But there isn’t. And I say that knowing that it’ll possibly draw ire from many who are close to me. But that’s ok.

I think the first step is to turn up our compassion and empathy levels. We need to understand and incorporate those qualities into our interactions with each other.

We need to realize that we are all walking wounded.

Location:Gardner Ave,Jersey City,United States

So, it’s been a while.

The biggest reason for my lack of blog posts over the past year has been changes within me. I’d love to share them. I’m happy with the person I’m becoming.

I’m pretty sure that if I went into all the details, others wouldn’t feel the same way.

I’m actually scared. And I’m angry that I’m scared. And I’m furious that the same reasons I’m scared are the reasons why I’ve gone through a lot of those changes.

I know, that doesn’t make any sense. At all. Not unless you have some insight into the inner working of my tachyon speed mind. And that’s ok for now. It will all come out soon enough.

Well, not soon enough.

I really don’t know what I’m waiting for. Maybe a cosmic sign. Maybe I’m waiting for a peaceful acceptance of what will happen after I let it all out. Maybe I’m waiting for that one final news story to puts me into an uncontrollable release.

I don’t know.

I’m also thinking maybe I’m overestimating people’s reactions. Maybe people really won’t care. Maybe they won’t take it personally.

Maybe I’m over-thinking all of this. Probably. Who knows.

I think there are more maybe’s in this post than I’ve ever typed in my life.

Location:Gardner Ave,Jersey City,United States