George’s Blog

Before I get into the meat of the post, I wanted to point out that a lot of my future titles will be coming from World of Warcraft. Why? Because it’s a rather large part of my life. I know, it’s a game, and I treat it as such. But it’s also an escape for me and a way to interact with other people. I haven’t been fair to WoW in my blog, mentioning it only in passing, out of the shame and stigma that playing such a game tends to generate. So even though I don’t intend to write a lot of posts only about the game, I will be making more references to it. Now, without further ado…

I’m coming to the realization that my depression is less psychological than chemical. On one hand, If this turns out to be the case, I can fell solace in the fact that it really isn’t my fault by virtue of the way I’ve handled things in my life. On the other hand, it’s really crappy because it will mean I’ll be on head meds for the rest of my life.

After a lot, and I mean a LOT of self-reflection (if you suffer from depression, you’ll know that this is something that us depressed people do a LOT) I can look back on my life and see many, many signs pointing to an earlier start to this disease than I had originally thought. Actually, I hadn’t really though much about it’s origins, but now that I have…

The times when I was at my best mentally were times when I had a combination of two things; activity (mental/physical) and a social support structure.

Example (BIG example); Tarpon Springs High School Band. This band was my family. It was my life. It kept me active (lugging around percussion equipment, playing some of the hardest percussion parts in any high school), and I was surrounded by a wonderful emotional support system, to the point of meeting my wife there. All this took place during a rather tumultuous time in my life.

Example of when things were not so great: Elementary school band. I was never a popular kid. I got picked on a lot. When I first started percussion, in fourth grade, I would seclude myself in the corner of the room and surround myself with music stands.

There are many more examples for both situation, but I’ll trust you get the idea.

In January, our company insurance is switching to a new provider, and it is then that I will begin my hunt for a therapist. It’ll be interesting to see what comes out of it. Last time I gave my background to a psychiatrist, they said “Wow. That’s some history.”

It’s odd to hear a shrink be impressed.

This entry was posted on Monday, November 2nd, 2009 at 2:31 pm and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.