Life, if that’s what you call it

I know that those of you who have not recieved a phone call from me are wondering what went on with my testing so here goes….

The initial testing came back positive for Lupus. Meaning that I had a positive ANA (anti-nuclear antibody) test. Which is the first of three blood tests. I have since seen the head of Rhuematology at Tripler Army Medical Center who very wisely ran the other two tests. Bad thing is that these test take a long time too because they have to be sent to a national lab in San Antonio. So once again I have to play the waiting game.

In the mean time, he gave me a new prescription for my headache and another medication to help me with my body pain until we know exactly what we are dealing with. There is a small likelihood that I may be one of the few people that have a positive ANA test but do not actually have Lupus, or so my doctor told me, so they are hoping for that. If these other tests are positive I will begin getting other tests done but these will determine how far the disease has progressed. And I will automatically be enrolled as an EFMP (exceptional family member) and it will make a few things in dealing with the Navy easier.

So that is it… that is all that I know at this moment in time. I will try to keep everyone updated as I learn new things about what is going on. For those of you who don’t really understand what Lupus is please check out www.Lupus.org

I miss you.

I have had few constants in my life but those that I have had I count as blessings on a daily basis. One is my family. I count myself as one of the lucky ones to have been born into such a wonderfully loving home. They have been and always will be there for me. Another is the family that I chose to start. The day I met my love a new life began for me and for the most part each day since has been better than the last. He has given me three of the most precious gifts in my life and they make it it a good one. And then there is you…

There have been times in my life when I know that i would not be here if not for your friendship. I can remember days when the only reason I got out of bed was to see your face. Through the years we have helped each other through the good times and the bad. We’ve shared each others joy in the grand milestones that we’ve passed. You were the one that had the understanding ear when no one else would hear me. You were the one that had the strong shoulder when I needed one to let my tears fall on. You were the one that could make me smile no matter how bad things had gotten. I only hope that I have been able to return the favor when you needed it.

Now life with it’s many twists and turns has taken us down different paths and sometimes it feels as if we have grown apart. Every morning I wake and care for my children while my computer tries it’s hardest to boot. I sign on to the messenger of my choice and hope to see your name. The days that I find it make me smile whether we chat or not. The days I don’t, make me sad because it is just one more reminder that we are apart.

I miss you.

I miss hearing your voice.

I miss seeing your face.

I miss your smile.

I miss the way that no one around us understood but we did.

I miss laughing with you over nothing.

I miss crying with you over everything.

I miss…. us.