I have a few, OK about a billion, different symptoms that will decide to show themselves randomly through my day. Some of them are easy to deal with and really don’t bother me that much but there are a few that drive me frickin crazy. The constant and unyielding fatigue can go… I mean come on who wants to be tired all the time? I sleep for most of the day and yet I am still exhausted. But the most absolutely annoying one of all is this stupid mental fog that i am in 24/7.
Being a mom, it is an absolute necessity to be clear minded. So when I have trouble remembering if i took my meds or whether or not I forgot to do little things around the house it is a very bad thing. Just a couple of weeks ago i was making breakfast for the kids and nearly had a melt down because I went into the pantry and couldn’t remember what i needed out of there. I understand that memory loss is a symptom of the lupus and apparently my medication doesn’t really help with that but come on. I have to put every little thing in my Blackberry or write it down in order to remember everything. i have always been a fairly level-headed and some what organized person so this is killing me. And no I am not saying that I was perfect but I was better than I am now.
There are times when I am amazed that I am able to manage the finances, buy groceries or do any of the millions of things I have to do during my day without forgetting too many things. Yes there are some things, like laundry, that fall by the wayside sometimes but some how everything eventually gets done. And I have only forgotten about picking up Quinlyn once in the past year, which is one reason she rides the bus this year. I’ve learned that I can’t make it go away but I am learning how to adapt to my condition. Maybe just maybe with a little help I’ll be able to finish my book… who knows? 