Life, if that’s what you call it

It is currently 5:45 am and I have been up since around 5. The house is quiet except for the hum of George’s computer and the train whistle from down the block. It’s a nice and cool morning and I sit here for the first time in weeks writing a blog post. I came on to my dashboard in order to write this post and realized that I have 6 drafts! Six post that all have great starts to them but they abruptly stop almost as if the rest of them had just been erased. This caused me to start thinking and asking myself questions as I sip my hazelnut coffee in the (increasingly unsettling) quiet of my apartment.

Why do all of these post just stop?

What’s going on that is causing me to hit a wall every time I sit down to write?

What can I do to get past those blockades?

(How is that toy truck staying on the shelf with all but 2 wheels hanging over the edge?!)

It is confusing to me that while I’ve been having trouble finishing work for my own personal blog I’ve had no problems writing for other projects. (WHOAH! Wait a second it took a lot of time to write that stuff, remember? Three whole days for the first page and several hours for the post yesterday.) I think I may be having issues with focus. (Ya think?!) I may be having trouble with talking to myself too. (Well, duh!) I think I’m starting to realize that this may be a problem. Truthfully I have had issues with finding my focus for as long as I can remember but in the past it was easier for me to get myself back on track when my mind would wander. I know that part of the problem is the Lupus interfering with normal function but I think there is more to it than that. (::distant patter of feet coming down the hall::*shiver* They’re BAAAACK!) The peaceful quiet of my morning coffee has official been put to an end, Kevyn is awake. (Guess this means it’s time to make breakfast.)
Well, I guess I’m never going to fully understand why I have trouble focusing. (You just don’t get it.) Guess it’s just something everyone goes through.